After such an emotionally charged night, waking up early was certainly not what I wanted to do. But waking up early and facing the fact that my Spanish parents were going to be buzzing the doorbell at any moment and I still wasn't packed and wanted nothing to do with leaving my beloved Spain? THIS was the LAST thing I wanted to do.
Unsurprisingly, I was a bit of a mess. I scrambled to pack things and before I could even get my shoes on, my madre was buzzing for me to open the door so that Jesus could come get my Giant Pink Suitcase. As they walked into L's apartment I smiled, flustered, and attempted Spanish but my words flailed in my throat where the tears seemed to be silently gathering themselves, waiting for the last of the last goodbyes when they would burst out all over my face and consume my 9 hour plane ride and soak my sleeves in snot.
I hopped around, trying to get my shoe on when L impatiently told me to sit down and she'd put it on for me. Cruz laughed and joked, "You're such a disaster you can't even get your sneakers on without help!?" Haha. Fact.
Within a few minutes Jesus had (miraculously) moved all of my luggage out of L's apartment, down 4 flights of stairs and into the trunk. We were "ready" to go.
On the short drive to the airport, my padre managed to take the wrong exit and smiled at me and said he was just trying to help my mission of never wanting to leave Spain by helping me be late for my flight. :) The man's adorable words made me smile and giggle for the first real time all morning and I was more than grateful for this. Plus, I knew that in some little way, it wasn't a complete joke. My familia did not want to see me leave any more than I did... <3 And I felt it so strongly to be the truth all the way to the airport.
When we got there, they helped me unpack and find my gate but before long it was good-bye hugs and Jesus needing to return to Alcala as he'd already missed a lot of work that morning to take me to the airport. I thanked them for the ride and later in an email Jesus would tell me, "It was nothing - I do that for all my children." <3
The remaining few hours waiting at the airport?
Bittersweet.
L did her best not to acknowledge that we were a few minutes away from possibly never seeing each other again and instead showed me silly pictures on her phone and helped me repack my suitcase so that it met the weight limits assigned by the airlines. She refused to cry when I started up and tried to keep me perked up.
And then before I knew it, I was in line for the security checkpoint.
And she was on the other side of the rope.
She smiled and I tried but standing there in that line - facing the great unknown before me and willingly leaving behind the country and the family and the girl I'd grown to love and call home - inspired in me the most ineffable feeling I'd felt in a long, long while. I already missed and longed for what was still in front of me for the next few seconds. Life felt uncharacteristically hopeless for a split second.
I went to grab a bin to put my shoes, coat and laptop in and as soon as I set it down and looked inside a warm feeling of succor bloomed inside of me and embraced my trembling little body.
"LARISAH!" I screamed.
She looked up and I showed her my treasure beaming. There, in that bin, was a tiny little euro penny sent as my last European message of love and reassurance from Conor. <3
L smiled and with that (and a few other words), I was on the other side.
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