jueves, 30 de junio de 2011

Day 32: Exploring & History of Spain in 70 Minutes

As Wednesday was the last day of June classes, I had Thursday to myself to do whatever. I got all sorts of dressed up in my cutest dress, did my make up and set out for Madrid. :) Sometimes a girl just has to feel chic after a week of grungy studying and strees.


First item of business, a trip to the US Embassy to set up an appointment to begin my visa process. The guards were very imposing but quite sweet once they figured out I was American. How adorable that it took them five minutes to ask, ¨Oh, espera! Ud. es Americana?!¨ Apparently Americans are treated like celebrities at the US Embassy because in a matter of minutes I had an appointment for the next morning. Yay!

As a personal reward for going to the Embassy and starting the process when it seemed to overwhelming to even begin, I went to Starbucks. Starbucks barristas are just as cute and gay seeming in Madrid as they are in America. Does America have the lemon and passion fruit tea frappacino? 'Cause it's pretty dank. Just say'n.

 
I was thinking to myself on the way to Madrid, "Gee... I could really use a nice, roomy fake Louis Vuitton with this outfit..." and then *pop* there in the Metro station is a little man selling fake Louis Vuittons! I totally haggled with him and got it for WAY cheaper than I´d imagined.


Next it was off to Chueca to see how Orgullo preparations were progressing. I can honestly say I´ve never seen so many rainbows in my life!!

L told me about a store here called Berksha. Awful idea to tell me about it. It´s like Forever 21 meets PINK... >_< BAD. I managed to only get one pair of shorts but still... jeeze louise. In addition to these shorts I got a new, very ¨Spanish¨ outfit that I´m planning on wearing Friday. Now that ít´s Rebajas (summer sales), I feel it´s okay to get a few outfits so that I don´t keep wearing the same seven, bland things. I don´t know why I decided only to bring one pair of jean shorts and a few blah tank tops, but jeeze louise. I need to get back to having a least a little bit of style!


After my mini shopping adventure it was off to SOL to meet L to go to Ernesto´s play, ¨The History of Spain in 70 Minutes.¨ We arrived late because I´d forgotten to eat all day so we stopped for a Caesar salad (they´re funny tasting here, but yummy nonetheless). Thank goodness I´d stopped at the theater earlier in the day to scope out its location and inquire about when I could buy tickets. The two guys recognized me and told me to hurry up becuase it was starting! They were very sweet about it, though. I´m starting to figure out that being American is not a bad thing here, but something that is looked upon as an endearing quality. What a surprise. o_O

Anyway, the play was hilarious. Of course, I didn´t understand all of it, but the parts I did get were amusing and made me giggle uncontrolably. It´s so cute to see my Professor acting in a play that he wrote and directed... especially the scenes overtly ridiculous! Also, watching the play made me realize that I have a pretty decent basic command over the history of Spain. Between Spanish 223 (EWW), History of Art and Poetry classes, I think I might be slightly more knowledgable about Spanish history than American??

Oh dear... Maybe Ernesto´s next work could be the History of America in 70 Minutes (though, maybe he wouldn´t need that long... considering Spanish history goes back to 15,000 BC and American goes back to 1492 ish).

If you speak any Spanish at all, or just want to be confused but amused, check the link for the play L and I went to tonight. My Poetry teacher, Ernesto, wrote it, directed it and acted in it, so naturally I HAD to see it and it turned out to be HILARIOUS. ^_^ WOO! Link me!

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

Day 31: Last day of classes? Time to unwind!

My morning was academically ridiculous.

I spent my entire thirty minute bus ride memorizing poem titles and poets' names and trying to keep clear which belonged to which. Then, when it got to the test, question one (worth one third of the test points wise) was on the one page of notes I'd left in my art history notebook and forgot existed. Because yes, that would happen. So I BSed it as best as I could.

It's not that I'm worried about my grade - even if I failed the question I'd prolly still end up with a B on the test thanks to the extra credit (I hope)... but I was more upset worrying that Ernesto would read it, see through my BS, and think to himself, "Damn, and here I thought I had ONE intelligent and motivated and clever girl in my class who really cared about what I had to teach... what another disappointment straight from America." :-/ I felt like writing him an apology note at the end of the test, but a poker face is always the best thing to have during any test and so I made my answers rainbow colored and handed it in with a confident smile.

Ohhhhhh I hope Ernesto gave me the benefit of the doubt. It's been such a long time since I wanted to do well in a class for the teacher's sake. I hope I didn't mess it up... I'M SORRY ERNESTO. I SWEAR I GOT MORE OUT OF YOUR CLASS THAN 99% OF THE SEMESTER LONG COLLEGE CLASSES I TOOK IN AMERICA. *whimper*

Okay, let's be honest. I also sped through his test because I needed to go write my paper for Little Gay Professor Man and throw together the first power point of my life (okay, maybe i've made a few... but it was years and years ago... the last one I made was on the day I managed to lose J's "Lez be friends" tank top... which was indeed EARLY 2009... and I'm STILL upset I lost it... especially considering this weekend is Orgullo and I'm not sure what I'm going to wear yet -- EEK!!). My topic was stellar. Let's be real. Dali is the shit. For my paper/presentations I had to find a common theme in four separate works of art. My choices? Ridiculous. Theme? Sexual symbolism. Works? See for yourself:

Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee Around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening
1944


The Great Masturbator
1929
Lobster Phone
1936

Royal Heart
1953

Yep. While everybody was monotonally rambling on in broken Spanish about El Greco and Goya (not that I have anything against Goya, but I can see why the King told Greco his art was BS)... I was talking about sexual symbolism in the strangest art Spain has produced (minus Picasso, perhaps). Some people take life so seriously... and then there's me. What a tonteria. LOL

During/after class I whipped up my Master's application and two essays and was home, fed lunch, and on the train in no time.The past few days had drained me. I'd been so blithe and sanguine in Spain and then Sunday night came and suddenly I felt claustrophobic in Alcala. So when my first opportunity to escape for a few hours presented itself, it was on, (on like Donkey Kong, yes...lol).

Tuesday night I spent an hour and a half attempting to meditate and calm myself down so that I could center and understand from a detached perspective what I needed to grasp from the whirlwind of upset over my family and my visa. After quieting down I realized that I'd started to lose perspective and focus on what I wanted and what I was grateful for and appreciating... and so I resolved to fix that.

Getting ready for Orgullo in Chueca. There are rainbows EVERYWHERE!!

I took the metro from Atocha straight to Chueca and began my search for Sushi. I stumbled into an adorable urban style market in a big warehouse type thing that big cities always have and I always drool over.

 
 Market! I <3 you!

The third floor had a sushi stand, an organic juice stand and... a cupcake stand! Nirvana!? YAY! Even more exciting were the RAINBOW frosted cupcakes. They were for real the gayest cupcakes you've ever seen in your life (but only the carrot cake kind... so I'll have to go back and get a picture of the really gay ones... haha).

Cupcakes. Yum!

From Chueca I journeyed down Fuencarrol and ran into Luke - the sweet guy from the tattoo/piercing parlor who helped me change my Monroe and gave me the jewelry for free a week or two ago! He stopped me and we had an adorable and pithy conversation! Turns out, he's from Buenos Aires but used to live all over Italy! What a cool dude! He's in a band and I wanna go to one of his gigs some time. Hee hee!

Gran Via back to Atocha and it was time to meet L. Finally! We walked over to Retiro and had a picnic on one of the benches near the randomly naked and lounging female sculpture. :o) She's my favorite sculpture in the park because she looks so serene and lazy. Hee hee.

Sushi, Acai juice, Rainbow Cupcakes, Picnic in Retiro and L combined to make EXACTLY what I'd needed all week. <3


In that one Sheryl Crow song, she sings that "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got." The first time I really felt this was when I got Moxie. To this day, whenever I park her I always walk a little ways and then turn around to see if I really, truly and seriously have a YELLOW BUG. The first few days after I got her I would do this and be so in awe that I would squeal. That feeling has never gone away. Every time I see or think of Moxie I feel so grateful, proud and blithe that I can call her my bug.

And so I started to think about it and thought, wouldn't that be nice if I had that feelings about other aspects of my life (say, about something other than an "inanimate object," -- not that I would ever call Moxie such a thing, but I understand that those that don't know her might make the mistake)? And that's when it started happening more. My job at Hooters was a big example -- every day that I would go to work I'd think to myself, "I can't believe that these people think I'm pretty and outgoing and bubbly enough to work here?!" and then I'd make sure my incredulous gratitude would seep from me during my shift. Haha.

I'd had that same feeling ever since I landed in Madrid, but after the past few days, it'd worn off a little. So when I found myself in a park with my favorite foods and my favorite person within a 4000 mile radius... well... the feeling was DEFINITELY back. ^_^

  

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

P.S. I just gotta say, I'm leaving out the most hilarious part of the night... which would be when we spotted a guy doing inappropriate things to himself not far from where we were picnicking on the bench. I SQUEALED and ran and L laughed uncontrollably. Brother. THEN when we finally got to the night bus, there was a man sitting in the stairwell of the bus PUKING. OMG. The night was so good and then it went SO downhill SO fast... but in a really strangely amusing way. Oh, Madrid. You do have your surprises. LOL

miércoles, 29 de junio de 2011

Statement of Purpose

Statement of Purpose
¨Master´s in Bilingual and Multicultural Education¨

Ever since I first traveled abroad to Italy when I was 14 I decided as soon as I was done with college, I would find a way to live abroad. It started out as an abstract goal, but as I traveled to Argentina, France and Brazil, my dream started to seem more realistic and I realized by teaching English abroad, I would be able to satisfy my wanderlust and love for different cultures, different language and different perspectives.
When I emailed Cristina Blanco a few weeks ago telling her I´d fallen in love with living in Alcala and wondered if she had any ideas as to how I could continue living here after the summer CIEE program was over, I wasn´t expecting any sort of serendipitous response. So you can imagine I was absolutely shocked when she responded that an opportunity had opened u for me to not only live in Spain, but to work towards my Master’s degree in bilingual and multicultural education (what I´ve been dreaming of pursuing for years!) and intern in a real classroom teaching English, as well! Clearly, the stars had aligned and this was NOT an opportunity I could pass up.
I believe that not only would I benefit from the Teach and Learn Program, but that the program would benefit from me being a part of it, too, due to all of my multicultural/multilingual experiences! I have always been somewhat of a polyglot (I´ve studied Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese and Thai) and was thus inspired to live in the Italian dorm on my UW-Madison campus freshman year. Living in another language that I hadn´t previously studied was an exhilarating experience. The following year I moved into the International Co-op and lived with people from all over the world. Living in such a tight-knit community of a plethora of cultures and languages opened up my perspective and I adored it.
I became really close to one of the Brazilians who lived at the co-op and would help him with his English studies every night after dinner. When he went back to Brazil I visited him for a month and helped him with his private English classes he taught. Before switching my major to Spanish, I had been a Linguistics major, so teaching English came more naturally to me than I would have imagined. Suddenly I was teaching Brazilians of all age English grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation and it was thrilling! I’ve always loved teaching, and teaching something I knew as well as my native language was very rewarding. My experience in Brazil and all of the friends I made there influenced my decision to work hard to graduate a year early from UW-Madison so that I could move out of the country and pursue my own career in teaching English on my own!
After having studied and lived in Spain for the past month and met Spaniards and Americans alike, I believe that I would be a perfect fit for this program because of my unique personality and my adaptableness to living in another country. While other students in the summer program rarely stray from the safety of the group and are off in search of the best bar to drink at or the best internet connection so they can stay in constant touch with their family and friends in America, I am that odd girl who is taking the metro solo and getting off at random stops just to explore. Perhaps it’s because I am an only child, but I´ve always been very independent, autonomous and intrinsically curious. Give me a day in any city and I will gladly start walking up and down each street all by myself, become enraptured with the new people, new discoveries, new experiences and new perspectives gained throughout the day. In addition to this, I am generally quite tenacious and sanguine. In other words, I am willing to work very hard for what I want and I’m cheerfully confident and optimistic in the process. I tend to see challenges as an adventure rather than an obstacle. These characteristics, coupled with my bubbly, giggly, colourful personality make me a determined and self-sufficient student and a unique and fun teacher. I tend to see life from a playful perspective of a child, but with the maturity of an adult.
Living in Spain and pursuing my Master’s degree while interning as an English teacher would honestly be a serendipitous dream comes true. I believe I must have ended up in Alcala a year early for a reason and if I were to be granted such an opportunity, I know I’d take advantage of it unlike anybody the program has ever seen.

martes, 28 de junio de 2011

Por la flor descalzada, los arboles suden

Walking home with Megan, making inside jokes during little gay professor man's class with Andy and Dave, going on absurdly long walks in circles with L and eating seconds for dessert with mi padre are all things I enjoy here in Spain. My favorite solo activity, of course, would be blogging. Last test, L came to Alcala and helped me study for my poetry test (I got 100%... I'm thinking she helped greatly!)... but because it's late at night and I can't ask anybody to come help me focus my energy into studying right now, I supposed I'll have to find a appealing way to focus all by myself. And if the only thing I love doing daily alone is blogging, then, I suppose I'll use my blog to help me study.

So here we go. You read the post earlier today about how I have 30 poems to be familiar with by tomorrow at 9 am. Might as well write their title, author, era and pithy synopsis on my blog to keep my attention from wandering as it has been doing since 4:15 pm today. >_< No need to read this yourselves, just notes for me.


Antonio Machado
La Saeta --> The name of the poem implies a poem addressing the sadness of the poet with regards to the death of Christ. In this poem, however, Machado speaks of the sheeople of Spain who cry and scream and praise the wooden statue of Christ nailed to the cross and make this their life's purpose. Machado opines that worshiping the Christ that walked on water (the real Christ, the Christ who taught people and created miracles) should be the Christ that is happily worshiped - not the suffering woody doppelganger who inspires no sort of Christian knowledge in his image.

Soldades (Yo voy sonando caminos) --> Literally, this poem is about a late afternoon journey along a little path and how it starts to get dark and he gets a little nervous that he can't see where he's going. Metaphorically it speaks of how he had a thorn in his heart, but he managed to remove the thorn and now instead of feeling pain, his little heart feels nothing at all -- and that's much worse. He's going into the unknown and doesn't even have his heartache to guide him. He misses his passionate love, no matter how painful.

Anoche cuando dormia --> This poem uses three images to represent God: Fountain, Beehive, Sun. Yep... that's all I got for this one. *please don't appear on the test!!*

Juan Ramon Jimenez
Represents the movement of "Poesia Pura" in which poetry is seen as a pretty way to escape reality, while, at the same time, trying to understand the essence of poetry by not focusing on rhyme or structure but instead letting it flow.

Eternidad --> The poem begins with "I am not me." It's a poem I can relate to when I'm really tired because he talks about how this person in front of him is not who he is - he's sweeter and nicer and more eternal than this physical representation of himself.

Vino Primero Pura --> Jimenez compares the evolution of poetry to a human's mode of dressing. At first poetry was pure and dressed simply, then it started getting bunddled up in layers and then it was dressed in rich treasures that were really just a sham; such frivolous crap only hid the intrinsic beauty of the poem. So now, as poetry stands as Jimenez is writing this current poem, poetry is liberated and nude, free to express itself passionately and without a fake facade concerned with style and rhyme and meter, etc.

Intelijencia --> Longs for the simplest words to use for every single concept so that no word is loaded and all words are pure and simple creatures that are able to construct a poem on their own based on their pure essence and not their impure connotations. Only through this manner can one create in an original manner.

Pablo Neruda
Surrealism... a dream world where images create emotion without logic; focus on internal world, declaring that sometimes the surreal IS reality.

Por una poesia sin pureza --> Basically a response to "Poesia pura" and Jimenez saying, "Guys, this is ridiculous. Poetry is supposed to be flowery and focus on the mundane objects that give meaning to human beings - pure, simplistic poetry is a dumb idea. I'm against it."

Walking Around --> Begins with "I'm tired of being a human bean (deal with it)"... all the mundane aspects of being one make me feel nauseous... goes on to say, "Wouldn't it be the shit if we could randomy throw a lily we just cut from a plant square at a notary and get away with it?!Or how about killing a nun with a blow to the ear?!" It gets random, yeah... but I understand where he's going with it. It's like, "people are dull. what's the point? Let's get crazy. But then the tone once again gets sad and disgusted and he says Mondays fear his lack of giving a shit and depression and so the world comes back to spite him for this and all that's left in the end is clothing hanging from clothespins dripping with dirty tears. I'm not really sure where Pablo was going with this... He's tried of being a human, he wishes life were random, but life isn't and things are sad. FAIL, Pablo... where's the spark here?

*GENERATION 1927*
--> Salinas, Cernuda, Lorca
Three types of poems: Surreal, Pure, Educational. Three hundred years previous (1627) was the death of Gongora, so those of the '27 sought to revive the perfect structure, break with tradition and popular poetry to honor him and his style.

Pedro Salinas
Underwood Girls --> This poem is adorable. I don't even need to review my notes for this one. Pedro compares the keys of a type writer (teclas) to little girls who are sleeping until they get awaken and their letter needs to be used by the machine. The message is that literature / typed words sustain the world, and these little keys are the magic behind the process. Very sweet little personification. :) And a love letter to a type writer - adorable!

Para vivir no quiero... --> "What happiness greater than to live in pronouns" -- and adorable way to write "you, me, us." :) A love poem that professes that the poet needs no riches, no treasures, no islands, no cutesy things, not even his name -- all he needs is his lover and his love for her to feel complete and happy. You are you and that's why I love you. "I love you, I am me." A declaration that he is who he is because of his love for her and that's what matters. In my personal opinion, the man is losing his identity so what does he have to bring to the love affair but a shell of a human being... but it's cute nonetheless.

Luis Cernuda
Si el hombre pudiera... --> A poem about the perils of being gay in a society where it is not acceptable. He is a prisoner of love and cannot act on his true desires nor feel truly free. The end of this line is the sweetest line of any poem I've ever read (well, almost):


Federico Garcia Lorca
Sopresa --> A good example of Expressionism; No context? No problem! It's all about the gut emotional reaction. Think: "The Scream," as in that one strange painting. This poem speaks of a dead guy in the street with a knife coming out of his chest and nobody knows him or cares to know what to do about the situation. Shocking and grotesque? Yes. Context? Not at all.

La casada infiel --> An "elegantly erotic" poem about a one night stand the speaker has with a woman who he believed was a virgin but turned out to be married. No judgement on the part of the woman for participating in the foree - a good time had by all for that one night. He's very respectful and gentle with her. Symbols: Water/Horse = Desire/Passion while Moon/Green = Death The poem is defending "prohibited love" impart because Lorca was gay and such love was considered just as prohibited as sex between a married woman and a random man who hardly know each other and hook up one night.

Poeta en Nueva York --> Lorca goes to NYC thinking that the black people in Harlem are the ones that are worse off than the other New Yorkers and plans to write about their perils, but after discovering Wall Street, he realizes that these people are much worse off. At least black children play in the streets and giggle. Wall Street people are all serious and only work for money because they think this is what life means and they don't try to escape their slavery to their machines of inhumanity because they don't know any better. At least the poor in Harlem still have spirit. Also, Wall Street people affect the whole world, so it's even worse their the ones without the soul intact.

Grito hacia Roma --> The pope agrees to more or less support Mussolini in killing people and his political extremes as long as the Vatican can once again be restored to the Pope as an autonomous land. Lorca yells at the pope for being such a sell out and says while he still supports Catholicism, this pope is clearly unfit for office and this is ridiculous. Sees that this is just the tip of the ice burg and somebody needs to stop this runaway train of destruction.

Miguel Hernandez
Nanas de la cebolla --> Onion Lullaby is a poem written by a shepherd who found himself in jail after fighting in the war. He writes this sweet lullaby to his baby son, who he's never met (and never will meet - he dies in jail a little while after this poem was written), and whose mother is suffering from poverty and can only find onions to eat. :-/

Damaso Alonso
Insomnio -->

Blas
En el Principio -->

Jaime Gil de Biedma
Albada --> The morning after poem. The dirty sheets are on the floor, I don't know who you are. I liked you a lot last night. I don't wanna go, but I don't wanna stay 'cause I have no idea who you are. Work is waiting for me and you're better than work, but I'm rather indifferent to your being. Gay morning after one night stand poem. Traditional form (albada = romantic morning after sex... i don't want to leave you... we're lovers who should cuddle all day sort of thing... new, modern take on the idea)

Luis Alberto de Cuenca
A Alicia, disfrazada como Leia --> My gf is dressed up in a gold bikini like Princess Leia and it's sexy. Yum.

Conversacion --> When we fight, the words that come out of my mouth aren't mine. When they hurt you, they're a double edged sword and they hurt me too. I'm sorry.

El Desayuno --> You do some dorky things and I do some dorky things and I just love you, but what I love the most is when you wake up and say, "I'm hungry. I'm starting with you." Brother. Haha.

La Malcasada --> You call me up to complain about your husband and your parents and your kids, but I don't care. I used to be in love with you, but you made your bed and you must lie in it. Aftermath of Becquer's Golondrina poem.

Julio Martinez Mesanza
Remedia Amoris --> Women suck and don't know how to love.

Amalia Bautista
Contra Remedia Amoris --> Women can love just fine, it's just that they need to find somebody worthy of their love. This rebuttal is so great cuz Julio is her HUSBAND. HAHA.

Dejate --> It's cool to be kinky, but leave that stuff for a lover who is not your husband. o_O Weird poem, yeah.


Vicente Gallego
La Pregunta --> Like a grand punnishment from a Greek God - I go out clubbing and to the bars every night because I'm looking for something, but in the end, what is it I'm looking for? What ever it is, I won't find it here anyway. What am I doing with my life? *Mirror reflection when you are out partying and go to the bathroom alone and you look at your reflection at two am and are like, "Dude, wth are you doing here?"*

Felipe Reyes
Advertencia --> When somebody abandons you (and it will happen), don't hate them and don't forgive them. Neither are authentic things to do. Instead, take the pain in your room alone and then rise about it all and thank them for all they have given you through your relationship together. They could have loved anybody but they chose you, so honor this and your love and move forward with dignity. (I like this one!)

Jose Matheos
Como resbala el sol --> ?

Pocas cosas despiertan --> Few things make me has happy as a playful dog, few things make me feel the way I do when I see an old dog who's lived a long life about to die. No matter how you slice it, an inquisitive look from a dog holds every sentiment in the world in those two eyes.

VISAS = bs on a stick.

WHY is there not a website in which you type in your country of origin, your country of travel and your reason for/duration of your journey and a little page of happiness pops out that gives you all the forms and crap you need with a big long check list to complete??

This visa stuff is serious BULLSHIT (sorry, but there's no way around cussing right now).

I need a FBI background check and to get that I need finger prints taken by an official finger printer in the USA. WTF? It then takes the FBI up to four months to process your request to send back a one sentence sheet that states I am not a criminal. THEN I have to send THAT to some international council of validating official documents. THIS takes up to three weeks. THEN I need to go to a doctor who verifies that I am not sick and I pay this doctor a million dollars. THEN I fill out all my VISA paperwork and have to GO to CHICAGO to submit it in PERSON (WHATTHEFUCK). THEN I wait up to TWO MONTHS for them to tell me okay, come back to CHICAGO because we have your visa ready for you.

I thought Brazil was bad, but to be honest, I got my passport in two weeks, got my visa in three days, AND they mailed it to me.

Fuck. Visas. I don't even know what to do. There's still a shot I can get mine in time, but I'm basically going to have to spend the 24 hours after my finals are complete tomorrow afternoon to figure out where to go, who to talk to, what I need, etc. etc. etc.

>_<
Seriously. I don't know where all this stress came from this week, but if Pride weren't on Saturday, you can be sure I'd be buying my ticket to some Mediterranean beaches and laying there til Monday.

WHERE DID MY SANGUINITY AND MOXIE GO.
F this, I'm taking a nap.
*flops into bed*

Day 30: Hey, Dove Deodorant -- valiant effort but this Spanish sun is KICKING your ass.

I've decided that as long as it's 40 degrees C around this joint, I'll have no other option than to become an official ice creamsicle taste tester. Every other day (MINIMUM) I shall purchase a new type of ice creamsicle and let you dears know which one is the best. So far I've tried:

1) Cookies and Cream.
This one is delicious. It has just the right amount of cream mixed with chocolate mixed with crunch. It doesn't melt too rapidly nor is it too frozen to take a large, greedy bite. The only downside is the flavor isn't anything that's going to amaze you - it's just a classic take on a faithful standby.

2) Dark Chocolate Raspberry.
This one was discovered this weekend (AT LONG LAST) after having seen countless posters advertising its seemingly mythical existence. Dark Chocolate Raspberry ice creamsicle is a million steps beyond scrumptious. Just don't get attached to this kind, because it's hard to come by and will leave you feeling disappointed when you have to settle for a "normal" ice creamsicle rather than the creme de la creme of them all.

3) Cheesecake
Now I was really hopeful about this little guy. It's an ice creamsicle covered in white chocolate with little pieces of strawberry cheesecake bits in the ice cream center. Disappointingly, however, the flavor left a lot to be desired. It pretty much tasted like white chocolate yogurt, rather than any sort of rich Cheesecake Factory summer creation. Got my hopes up too high on this one, I admit. It wasn't bad... it just wasn't... breathtaking.

Perhaps after my siesta and a bit of studying I'll venture out to the popsicle stand on the corner near the roundabout in front of my house (how QUAINT does this all sound right now??) and try a forth flavor. They have about 30 of them and I intend to try every single one, minus, of course, those that have nuts.

Anyway, this is about as interesting as this blog post might be today, as tomorrow are final exams for this month's summer classes. Little gay professor man has given us an essay to write, a presentation to prepare and studying to be completed without ever having received a review in or out of class! What the eff, little gay professor man?? Fijais! These chicos y chicas (i.e. your "dear estudents") need mas cosas to help them study here. Dos minutos will not be enough for once! (SORRY -- too many inside jokes from one class and not enough time to explain them all. At least David, Andy and Libby will understand and potentially wet their pants upon reading the previous few sentences...)

As if that isn't enough to occupy my precious blogging time, dear, sweet Ernesto has given us 30 poems in the last week and a half to study for tomorrow's exam! Whoa, there Ernesto. You know I <3 you and your class but thirty is getting a little crazy, even for this tenacious chica. Note below the OVERKILL of info and poetry (keep in mind these are front and back and that half of the poems are online):

 Stereotypical American complaints aside ("You want us to actually LEARN something? Eww. Why would you push us to do such a thing? I came to Spain to drink and party with my other American home girls - please stop trying to interrupt my study abroad experience with actual academic work. Kthxbai.), Ernesto's class has been one of the most enjoyable classes I've taken in awhile. His ingenious command over Youtube and American music/culture coupled with his authentic enthusiasm and silliness (sometimes I swear he sounds like Kermit the Frog IN SPANISH when he's trying to act out a poem) make (almost) all of the poems easy to relate to and intriguing to ponder.

Okay I'm so amused that I finally admitted to myself that Ernesto's silly voice for real sounds like Kermit the Frog that I have to pull an Ernesto and present you with a brief Youtube video just so you can experience the amazingness for yourself. I've found a theme (Happy vs. Sad) that pertains nicely to our poetry class as well. *ahem* Without further ado, I present to you how Professor Ernesto sounds while trying to dumb down poetry for the, well, dumb girls who sit in the back of the class:


Hahahahahahha.. it's just so perfect. I can't hardly stand it. Hahahaha. Oh, and to think I gave Ernesto the web address to my blog... let's see if I get any comments on this tomorrow during my exam, shall we? HA.
Anyway... back to being sincere... *serious face*

Previously, I believed the best path towards self-reflection and understanding was through creation (writing, dancing, playing music, etc.) but for the first time I've started to see that simply by reading others' writing I can achieve a similar level of introspection. Surprising -- delightfully surprising. I may have to add this little tool to my tool bag of techniques for self-reflection and introspection. Yay! New tool! ^_^


Okay - I'm gonna be real Spanish here and take a siesta before I begun studying.

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

lunes, 27 de junio de 2011

Day 29: A ride on a moto makes everything better

Ever since that afternoon serenade in the park with the little man framed in lush green tree branches quietly sitting on a bench with his guitar, playing "Tears from Heaven," I've known what I've needed to do: Remain open to serendipitous opportunity at all times. And every time a little chunk of serendipitous opportunity serenely floats to me from above, I smile and before I can even ask if this can even get any crazier, he gives me his silly monkey face back and says, "Oh... *giggle* Just wait!"

I spent my Monday morning at school completely and utterly pissed off. Last night put me in a mood that was not just about to falter until some serious damage control was underway. I went to Cristina, my CIEE director, to chat about things with her (despite an opinion I valued that insinuated that doing so would show a great deal of immaturity on my part -- it took a small amount of resolve to listen to myself on this one and say, "Hey! The fact that you're making yourself heard is something to be entirely proud of. It's okay to do it in any way that you feel most comfortable." Special thanks to Martin for giving me that lesson back when I was 17...).

Cristina is just the sweetest lady you've ever met and despite the whole distraught harangue being in Spanish, she listened carefully and understood me very well. She opined that it seemed that everything was most likely a big misunderstanding and that I should not worry nor stress myself out about it. That she would call to talk things over for me and I would have to speak for myself, as well, later that afternoon, but that expressing myself so well was exactly what I needed to do to quickly get things resolved and back to their normal state of happiness and tranquility. <3

And she was right. When I got home mi madre came into my room to talk things over with me after having received the call from Cristina and although I cannot express how tricky delicate, emotional and potentially confrontational conversations are in a foreign language, I can express that a resolution to such a conversation seems to universally be a sweet little hug. Hee hee.

I was given extra chocolate from the chocolate stash (we Americans swear every Spanish family has a secret Chocolate stash in their home) and we all watched Entre Fantasmas while eating left over Sukiyaki together followed by the typical infusion (tea). Tranquility and normalcy restored! Phew - that wasn't SO hard.

An hour later and I was all showered and ready to leave for my meeting with the director of the Masters Program here at Franklin Institute at the Universidad de Alcala. I was running a bit late, so when mi padre knocked on my door and asked if I wouldn't like a ride to my meeting, I was delighted. He smiled and added (translated loosely), "And by ride, I mean a ride on the back of my motorcycle. Might wanna change your clothes - a dress isn't gonna work."

Jesus' moto is so cute! Riding on the back of a moto with freshly showered hair is even better, 'cause it's all dry by the time you get to your destination - haha.

May I just say that the thrill of riding on the back of a little moto around a quaint European town is incomparable to any feeling I have ever experienced. There's only one way I can express the feeling (omit the blatant flirtatious part with the cute young boy - that's extraneous to the story... I was riding around town with mi padre for goodness sakes). I've used this analogy once before in regards to just how I feel here in Europe, but prepare yourselves:


Yes. You just watched that. And yes, watching that adorable clip of Hilary Duff made you feel what I was feeling way better than any paragraph I could possibly come up with on the matter. Hell yes. Thank you, "Lizzie McGuire Movie."

Anywhoozle... the entire purpose in beginning my blog as I did lies in the following few paragraphs:

My meeting with Iulia, the director of my Master's program, went splendidly. Before this meeting I hardly knew a thing about the program, except that it was mostly free and generally sounded too good to be true.


A few weeks back I'd emailed Cristina, innocently enough, asking if she had any ideas of how I could remain in Spain for awhile. She wrote write back and informed me of an interesting opportunity that had just opened up; a girl who was supposed to be in the Masters program that begins this September had at the last minute withdrawn and a spot had suddenly opened up. If I were to get my rear in gear and fill out paperwork like a mofo, I could have a shot at the spot.

Cue me looking up at the sky and being like, "Really, Conor? This is absurd." and receiving a sly wink in response.

Today's meeting was about what exactly the program consists of: I get to choose from three programs (I'm choosing Master's of Bilingual and Multicultural Education); classes will be taught both online and at the Universidad of Alcala; I will be an intern / TA in a public school in Madrid and will work between 18-24 hours per week in the classroom with young children learning English; I will be paid monthly for the internship and will have my tuition waived thanks to a scholarship provided by the Universidad; the program is only one academic year long and I will thus have earned my bachelor's degree and a master's degree all within four years (w.t.h?); I will need to get my rear in gear to complete the paperwork and apply for my visa ASAP.

Cue me looking up at the sky and being like, "Are you for real?" and receiving a barely audible, "Oh, this is just your starting point here. You won't even BELIEVE where this is all heading..." from a serious little red-headed hippie.

My home for the next year?

A few months ago I was sitting my my bright room in my Barbie Mansion Castle stalking people from high school on my Android, marveling at the fact that a surprising number of them had gotten exactly where they wanted to get when we were in French class sketching out our dreams instead of paying attention to verb conjugations. And now? It's starting to seem like I'm one of them. Part of me is starting to feel undeserving, like maybe I should slow down and be a little freaked out... Like riding this wave at full force is gonna land me beached like some over-zealous orca. But then, the other part of me remembers this one line from the novel, "The Mermaid Chair" that stuck with me for years:


"I could even feel how perishable
all my moments really were,
how all my life they had come to me
begging to be lived,
to be cherished even,
and the impassive way I’d treated them."
And this is exactly what I am experiencing. I looked at my blog today and wondered how have I had so much to write about each day? I could have never kept even my own interest had I decided to embark on this project/journey in Madison. But the thing is, moments really are perishable and here they are begging to be lived with such unwavering resolve that I have no choice but to cherish them!

I haven't opened my personal Bible of Sanguinity until just a few seconds ago, and going over all of the things I began underlining December 2009 and seeing how things have turned out since then is awe-inspiring. I opened the book for one particular quote beginning on page 222:


"For it means that everything that is going to happen to you in the future is, likewise, for your own good.
This radically alters your idea about future change. You no longer have to fear it. And by not fearing it you take control of it, because you now feel free to take the actions and decisions that are most desirous, rather than always opting for those that are most cautious.
It is desire that ignites the engine of creation, not caution. Never, never caution. Always, always
desire.
Look to see what you most desire in your life, then ride that feeling all the way to creation."

And so, as per usual, my Bible of Sanguinity answers my own doubt; I'm all in.

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

domingo, 26 de junio de 2011

Day 28: To market, to market

And now, for a photo tour of my Sunday! *letsgo!*


We all woke up early and got dressed up to go to the Sunday market in Madrid! YAY! These fruit men were so excited when they figured out Nina and I were American that they gave us nectarines. So random, guys, but thanks. So much for everybody hating Americans.


These are the crazy buildings you can see from the other side of Madrid when you are high up on the hills overlooking the city. It was jolting to see them up close and personal!


At first the 40 degree C weather was charming. Yay for blazing rays and effortless tanning and always feeling sun-kissed. But after about a week, it's charm has worn off and I'm just - plain a simple - HOT. And so, L (dressed adorably) and I decided it was HIGH time to purchase adorably quaint Spanish fans. ^_^ Awww!! She had to teach me the pretentious, Spanish way to open the fan and begin fanning yourself all in one, effortless motion, and I think I understand how to properly snap my wrist to accomplish such a glamorous feat, but I still need hella practice!

Annnnnd it's brunch time. That's right, we found Apple/Carmalized Onion Ravioli! They didn't taste that different from normal cheese ravioli, but it was the crazy box that counted. Ha. Oh, and a picture of me being really hot and hungry, just so you get the feeling of just how hot (40 degrees C - look it up) it truly is around here.

After a quick siesta, it was time to head back to Alcala to prepare dinner for my family. I'd told them I'd be in charge of dinner since they'd had to drive five hours back this afternoon from visiting Jesus' mother in the hospital. Being me, I of course chose to prepare Sukiyaki followed by berry tartlettes - something that takes apparently five grocery bags full of food to make. L and Maria helped me chop up everything and cook it and both told me I'd purchased waaay too much food, but after everybody tried it and had huge portions, only a small tupperwear container is left. It was cute my family enjoyed the meal so much, but circumstances that will be further expounded upon tomorrow left a sour taste in my mouth in regards to the whole thing. I'm going to bed more upset than I've been since I left the USA. At least we know I'm still capable of feeling the full spectrum of emotions, I guess... blech.

Night night
Jet-set Cupcake

Day 27: Ridiculously *HOT* Saturday of Randomness

Saturday was a little bit of a hodgepodge of randomness... so a coherent blog post would not do the sporadic day justice. Instead, I shall merely post my favorite pictures from my Torrejon/Madrid adventure. :)

Guess what I found at the super huge grocery store?! That's right! A large jar of Garbanzo Beans and Caesar Dressing to drizzle all over them as I eat them straight from the jar with my large fork. Hell. Yes.


Admit it. This totally looks like Ghostwriter meets PacMan:



It's a bus that goes to the Madrid zoo! And guess what the Madrid zoo has?! Panda Bears! And guess what the zoo bus has all over it?! PANDA BEARS! (Pandas ARE Bears.) <3



It was cute little rest spot up until the sprinklers turned on... then it was just funny (and, yeah, okay, refreshing, too).



^_^ Too far from home to take a siesta, so improvisations had to occur...


This was a door (the kind they have at the entrances to all stores when they're closed -- it's kinda like a garage door - and are usually all sorts of graffittied) that was painted with a giant map of Madrid. How SWEET!!


Summer Shandy? Yes. That exists here. Only it's DELICIOUS and ADDICTING because the alcohol content is .9%. What a joke. Then again, it's about 2 euro for a six pack. ;) Drank up, peeps! ALSO... pesto was found. How much do I <3 pesto? A boat load. For this reason, I had pesto for two days in a row. Nom nom nom.


XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

sábado, 25 de junio de 2011

Day 26: Being the guia for a change

Upon arriving home this morning for the first time in roughly 36 hours, my madre greeted me with a hearty, ¨Well haven´t seen YOU in a while!¨Hahahaha. Oh I <3 mi familia! I then spent my morning eating a raspberry filled chocolate bar, writing on Kiwi and getting ready for my Madrid adventure with Nina!!

It was the first time I´d been unleashed in Madrid as the guide, rather than the guided. Gotta say - it was a hoot. Nina and I went to lunch in a misty patio and I had my first big bowl of tortellini in months and months (Ask me. Ask me how much I love tortellini.), then it was off to explore quite randomly all over the place.

 
 I loved being the one to navigate the metro system and to find little cute places to stumble upon! Nina was a really great meandering buddy and she even obliged me in going to TWO different Desiguals in ONE afternoon!! We both got adorable, silly shirts and she helped convince me to finally give in and buy the same style of shoes that L has and I´ve not so secretly been wanting myself for weeks. Hee hee.

After our adventure was wrapping up, it was up to Nina to get back to Alcala all by herself. I gave her one of my maps and made it very clear how to get from the metro station we were at, to Atocha - Renfe, to the train to Alcala. She listened very intently and I navigated the metro on her own for a few stops before she asked if I had any younger siblings, because if not, it was a shame because I was a very sweet and patient teacher. Awwwww! <3

Nina: Braving Madrid's Public Transportation System SOLO!!
 After making sure Nina got on the right train to head back to Alcala, I ventured in the opposite direction to pick up L from work and go to a movie. It was my first movie theater movie all in Spanish and I was quite contented with how much I understood - especially considering most of it was jokes, and jokes are often trickier to understand correctly and fully the first time around! Hee hee. :)

I found this in Chueca and thought of Caylas IMMEDIATELY!!! I <3 my Caylas!!!

After the movie was a little stroll through Chueca, a slice of yummy pizza (which my mouth decided had nuts in it, so that was quickly followed by a large chocolate cookie ice cream bar - yum) and fin. ^_^ It was a nice, chill day to just meander through the streets of Spain with company!

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

viernes, 24 de junio de 2011

Day 25: Corpus Christi = Pithy Post

I promised myself I'd post a blog every single day of my Spain adventure, but Thursday was a holiday here in Spain (Corups Christi - yeah, like the place in Texas), so I'm giving myself a free pass to write only a few pithy sentences about my day.

Today I learned:

1) Spain has its own, very distinct smell. It smells of freshly hung laundry to dry, cooking, air and old buildings. It's a delightful concoction for your schnoz when you get used to it. Makes me feel really tranquil and blithe.

2) Spanish people are not afraid to be very loud in their own homes, even when they share a little courtyard window with about 25 other neighbors. This is both bothersome and ridiculously interesting. It's truly better than a TV show to listen to the crazy conversations these people scream at one another. It's like, you have the words, but you have no context nor images, so you kinda get to fill in the blanks at your whim. Makes things interesting.

3) Being surrounded by three languages (two of which you know more or less) in one room is a good time any way you slice it.

4) Mashed potatoes are my comfort food. I <3 them more than is rational. Normal mashed potatoes, mashed potatoes with gravy, garlic cheesy mashed potatoes, purple mashed potatoes. Whatever. YUM.

5) Burlesque is pretty much one of the best movies I've ever seen. Makes me wanna DANCE. Hell yes.

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

miércoles, 22 de junio de 2011

Day 24: Missed the Bus and FrankenFish

I slept for three hours last night, so I guess it should have come as no surprise that I missed the bus (for the first time ever!) this morning. A normal human being would have been upset. A normal human being would say to themselves, ¨This is BS. It´s about a hundred degrees outside and it´s only 8:40 am. I´m wearing my new, yellow, uncomfortable shoes and am in no state to walk 40 minutes to school. I´m going to be late and look like an awful human being. UGH.¨

But, of course, I am no normal human being and instead thought to myself, ¨Haha. Oh jeeze louise. Change of plans guys. Just KIDDING about arriving to class on time. Maybe walking 40 minutes will wake me up a little and I won´t fall asleep in class, prompting my teacher to ask every day after break if one of his students has died (he seriously says that; it´s hilarious). Might as well write the fellow a little inverted haiku to express my current situation. Gotta make sure he realizes I truly enjoy his class and am not showing up 20 minutes late because I don´t appreciate how adorable he is and how much he teaches, but rather because life decided a bus wasn´t in my plans for the morning.¨

Oh, Perspective. Such a clever little friend that hardly anybody ever seems to employ to their sanguine advantage.


Upon giving my teacher my inverted haiku he giggled and said it was wonderful. Only, he meant it. He immediately started counting the syllables on his fingers to see if I'd followed the structure correctly and then promptly gave me a suggestion as to how to alter the first line to make it flow better. Oh little Ernesto, always being so cute. As the second half of class began, I quickly realized we were about to learn about sestinas (only my FAVORITE form of poetry) and the sestina he had on the board as an example? By Neil Gaiman!! Wth?! I squealed with Delight as I realized how awesome this second half of class was about to be, and Ernesto giggled at me and asked if I wouldn't like to teach the class about the structure of sestinas. Adorable. We went on to read a poem about the morning after a homosexual one-night stand and while the rest of the class seemed a little thrown by the poem, I embraced it as uniquely real and was intrigued that any university professor would choose such a poem to teach to his class. It was very different from what we usually read, but the juxtaposition of the classic morning-after-divine-lovemaking form coupled with the overly homosexual-i-just-met-you-drunk-last-night-who-are-you theme was oddly refreshing from the dulcet and overly-passionate straight love poetry we've seen thus far (minus Becquer - he's just the sh*t - for any of you that wanna get crazy and read the most awesome "You broke up with me and you think you're so great now, but you just wait until you never find anybody who will love you and adore you and worship you like i did ever, ever again; you'll soon realize you're just a huge, selfish turd-muffin. Suck an egg, puta." poetry, lemme link you).

Right after poetry class Ernesto asked me if it would be alright if he posted my haiku on his facebook (of course, giving the credit to you). Hahaha. How funny. A real life, published poet asking ME to put my silly haiku on his facebook. At least it seems I made the man a happy little clam for the day.

A few hours later and one more art class complete ("Mas cosas! Fijais! Chicos y Chicas! My dear estudents!" - how can you NOT love little gay professor man!!??), I went to find the lady in charge of the masters program here, but as she was out "having a coffee," I instead ran into Ernesto again, while discussing the program over with my director, Cristina. Upon hearing of my interest in the Master's program, Ernesto gleefully proclaimed he would be more than happy to write me a letter of recommendation to secure me a spot in the program. Cristina said she would write one, as well. Who knew you could get people to bat for you in only three weeks - I swear Hooters taught me a lot about life, and this is one of those times I see it. Before last fall I never would have been ballsy enough to be like, "Hey! Who wants to help me get into some crazy program at the last minute?! You do! 'Cause you like me! Yay!" but instead would have probably considered giving up the opportunity, siting myself as just "another bother" who should try not to disrupt others' existences.

Comida with the family, Deu sleeping in front of my fan and a walk around Alcala with L to find these special trees but walking in circles and never actually finding them ensued... but nothing too exciting to write another small novel about... EXCEPT for these FrankenFish (Fish seemingly attempted to have been brought back to life in a miserable failure do to confusion of what is a fish and what is a bowl of pasta) I was more or less forced into trying...
 FrankenFish in the Pan ... FrankenFish on a plate with a refreshing glass of Gazpacho. :)

 Chelsea is scared of FrankenFish. The end.

Those were pretty epic. Basically it's processed fish meet jumbled together in what looks like slimy fish pasta. It's perhaps one of the strangest foods you'll ever see and be super disturbed by, but then try it and realize it's pretty bland and harmless. But for real - I felt like I was on an episode of Fear Factor for my first few bites... LOL.

In all, my day was ducky, thanks to my wacky perspective and crazy ideas. Sometimes I truly <3 being strange little me. All I wanted to do was find a way to make Ernesto feel appreciated for the cute play he put on for us and the wonderful teaching he does everyday, and I think my silly 19 syllable poem might have actually accomplished just that! <3

XOXO
Jet-set Cupcake

Day 23: Fluttering

Poetry class was all about GAY poets. It's like Ernesto knows me or something... what the hell, Sir? Your class today was the shit. After an interminable jaunt home with Megan after school, I had to shower and jaunt all the way back to campus to see a play for my poetry class. I had been lead to believe that this was a play that was for the general public, but when I arrived, I soon realized this was not the case; this was a play being put on JUST for the nine kids in my class. Ah-door-ah-bull.

I realize I've been to Broadway plays in New York City and amazing plays in Denver and some kinda questionable ones along the way, too (*ahem* The four hour, two intermission long catastrophe about party hats from the Middle East. That was surreal. Surreally awful.)... but this was just... different. The fact that all of this was going on just for us nine little dorky Americans, that my teacher was one of two actors on stage just being totally adorable and that it was tailored just for our class, the poetry and eras we've learned about thus far and that it was all about the history of LOVE poetry... well... I was in awe.

You'd never find an ordinary American professor who would take the time to memorize a million poems, put together a little chest of costumes, bribe some woman to play along and rent out a little theater just so that you could relate the poetry from hundreds of years ago to songs, movies and modern day pop-culture so that we could better appreciate Spanish poetry. Seriously. I felt so privileged and honored and humbled to be in a class with a teacher who actually CARES about his students enough to pull that all off so masterfully and passionately!

After the play he and the lady sat on stage and wanted to have a mini "colloquium" about our thoughts and questions in regards to the play, but of course, being Americans and half asleep nobody said hardly anything. I felt so awkward about these people's lack of enthusiasm and gratitude that I blurted out my little secret project to the whole class and my professor. When I told him how I'm taking my favorite verses from the poems he teaches us every day and writing them on post cards from all over Spain to send to somebody in America, well, I seriously thought Ernesto was gonna cry. I swear the man teared up a little bit. It was so sweet. But I guess I too would feel a little touched to hear that my teachings and passion was getting through to some little self-obsessed American 20-something. Awww. Haha.

An hour an a half later and one train ride and I was in Fuencarrol with L, back at the piercing place to beg them to plllleeeeeaaaassseee change my monroe bar for me, 'cause the original one was too cumbersome and bothering me. The same little man was there whom I had talked to a few weeks previously and he tried to tell me that I had to wait again and come back when it was fully healed. I, however, was not just about to take no for an answer, and so I told him (mind you, this was ALL in Spanish and, not gonna lie, I felt pretty badass holding my own in another language while arguing playfully) that he had promised me he would change it for me and that I couldn't take it any longer and he had to help this poor America chica. He giggled and finally gave in. ;)

When I went to pick out my jewelry (pink stone to green stone -- not a big switch, but the bar was the issue), he asked where I was from (oh, obvious accents... you're so lame). When I told him Denver he got his panties in a little bundle and started showing me all of these tattoos he had that were based on bands he loved that were from Colorado! Haha. CUUUTE!! He told me he had a bunch of tattoo artist friends that were from there and he liked them very much. Adorable, sir. I smiled and told him he had another friend from Colorado now and could come visit whenever he wished!

When they changed my monroe and I was ready to leave, I asked him how much I owed him for everything. He smiled, took my hand, and said nothing - that we were friends now and that's what mattered. I <3 people sometimes.

Flash-forward and I found myself in a park, next to a carnival, listening to Dani Martin. Sometimes, my life feels so random - like a giant quilt of experiences and places that I just sort of fall into. It's the best. While it was too echoy to understand much of the lyric value, the beat was nice and it was cute to see so many people spralled all over the park grooving out to him! It reminded me of when J and I went to see Jeramiah at the Dane County Fair - only then I knew the man and his lyrics and here I felt like I was floating in an incomprehensible fish tank of happiness where I was the odd fish out, but still contented. <3

The most revealing part of my day, though, had nothing to do with poetry or piercings or music, but rather communication styles. It's been so long since I've had a serious talk with anybody "new" that I had completely forgotten that distinct communication styles exist and that I spent most of my teenagerhood studying and reading up on and practicing and conversing about them practically daily. I choose strange things to really focus on, but when I pick something, I put all my energy into it. All of my Fearless Living coaching with Martin and reading books like, "When Everything Changes, Change Everything" / "Ask and it is Given," going to four separate psychologists and pressing them for information on the topic and reading countless online articles... all of that... has shaped a huge part of who I am and how I communicate in intimate environments.

I'm far from having an sort of mastery over the subject, obviously, but the knowledge I do have I often mistake as intrinsic in everybody. Speak in the first-person, not in the second-person; speak in feelings not actions; ask yourself if you're bothered by something that is being reflected of yourself or if it is a secondary source, etc. I've gotten so comfortable in my communication styles and habits with my closest friends that when I was suddenly blindsighted by a whole new manner of going about things, I was a little stunned. And then all at once - like psychological muscle-memory haha - some part of me took over and began processing and evaluating very calmly yet carefully. It was entirely comforting to know that all those years of studying such things was not for naught and that I have come such a far ways since I was 15 in how I listen and express myself.

Perhaps it sounds silly, but it was a big deal for me. Any sort of confrontation was my biggest fear all of seven years ago, and I would have rather had my whole body waxed than have to listen to somebody being upset with me and find a way to respond without going silent and hiding for a few days thinking the world hated me. Bottom line is, communication can be deceivingly tricky but is intrinsically paramount to any sort of functioning relationship -- on my walk home I had to take a moment to thank myself for taking it so seriously when I was so young and working so hard on becoming even a little better at such an important ability.

On the flip side, it also showed me that no matter how many books and psychologists and life coaches and friends and family and journals have helped me, I still have a lot to learn - only I'm not scared anymore, but excited to take what I've worked on for so long and continue to watch it grow and blossom even more.

Perspective is a key thing in this whole game of existance and I've realized that even more since I arrived in Spain. My Tuesday was great - the poetry, the play, the piercing man, the park full of music -- but the part that showed me the most about myself and opened up my awareness was the part that made me feel the most uncomfortable and vulnerable. Perspective doesn't just mean focusing on the good, but adjusting your view of the butterflies to see the possibilities inherent in their fluttering.

XOXO
Jet-Set Cupcake